Depression has a knack for spreading. It seeps into the corners of your mind, and flows out to affect others. It’s a blinding disease, keeping sufferers from recognizing it, hiding behind emotions like anger & apathy, worry, anguish, and sometimes even happiness.
Parents & children, husbands & wives, girlfriends & boyfriends, even friends and family beyond the nuclear core, suffer from the effects of ‘second hand’ depression. Devastated and at a loss as to what to do for their loved one, they may not be fully aware of their own suffering. Beyond the pain, the impact on their own health can lead to long & short term damage to their lives. The same symptoms that were so hard to see in their loved one begin to manifest in themselves, rippling through the lives of those around them as well. The cycle continues, and spreads.
How do you help your brother when you’re helpless as well? How do you hold on during your teenage daughter’s long recovery, when your own life starts falling apart? You have to take care of yourself first. Before you can be any good to your family, you have to be good to yourself.
Support groups and books abound on the subject of depression, but there is but much less covering the effects on others. Treatment must begin as if you were the original sufferer. Find help. Find a good therapist, a good psychiatrist, and above all, a good friend. The same support groups that are there for your sister or mother are there for you too. Learn to recognize the signs and symptoms in yourself. Learn how to heal and take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own basic needs, sleep, food & peace, even if it means not being available to anyone for a time. Don’t expect a change overnight. It won’t happen. The process is long – years, maybe even for the rest of your life – but in the end, you’ll also understand what your loved one needs most from you.
No comments:
Post a Comment